Every life experience, every love composed me piece by piece, unconsciously. Each piece added a part to the self-portrait I began to make without knowing how, a long time ago.
Those who lived their childhood in a secure environment, in which they developed freely, formed value systems and relationships with others, which were anchors throughout their lives.
I was not among the lucky ones from, having to make my own luck, drifting on the tumultuous seas of life, not knowing where I would really end up. Without knowing if there was a “something” tailored for me, in which I could find myself. No anchors. Just me on the waters of life, in search of my own destiny.
I wanted everything, but I didn’t really feel what peace could bring me, and I continued to drift on the waters of life, finding no foothold. Leaving behind tumultuous loves, for fear of being abandoned. For someone without anchors, being abandoned can be incredibly dramatic, so I continued on my way, in search of peace, which for me took the form of holidays spent in the country and the Winter Holidays and that’s about it. A silence taken out of context, which had nothing to do with real, everyday life.
Over the years, I realized that every life experience, every love, made me who I am today, piece by piece, adding a line to the self-portrait I had started making years ago. As my portrait took shape, I began to get anchors as I formed my self-image, becoming “Me” with
my own way of being and feeling. I started wishing my life would look a certain way, to stop drifting.
For those who grew up in a secure environment, an additional relationship can be a fad or a delight, but for those who have carved their self-image by sailing the seas of life, the loves experienced are what shaped their own identity , helping them to find the way to themselves, to build themselves piece by piece.
Each love built me up and gave me meaning. When you build long enough, anchoring yourself in your own self, you no longer feel the need to leave, you realize that every escape is actually an escape from yourself, that every person meant to stay by your side will stay, and those of whose destiny is elsewhere will go that way.
Life is a beautiful journey when we let love build us, show us the way to ourselves and heal us.
